Would You Rather: Beverage Edition

"Drink" by Raheel Shahid is licensed under Creative Commons.

by Noire Lin

You’re sitting in one of your favorite restaurants, eagerly waiting for your appetizer to arrive. You smell your crispy mozzarella sticks as your waiter makes their way to you. They set down your mozzarella sticks, smiling.

“So, are we ready for drinks?” your waiter asks.

You begin to sweat nervously. Drinks? You haven’t thought about drinks. You don’t know what kind of drink would complement your mozzarella sticks, let alone your whole evening. Drink names roll through your mind: Pepsi, Coke, Sprite, 7-UP. No, that’s too simple. You can’t just have a generic soda and call it a day. You need to have something that screams, “Yes, I’ll start my day with this amazing drink — this extraordinary beverage that will leave me wondering why I haven’t had this drink before in my life.” You could have any drink in the world, and yet your instinct is to settle on a simple soda.

However, that does pose the question: What would you rather have?

We researched the wackiest, most outrageous drinks, both alcoholic and family-friendly. While you’re thinking of a response for your patient waiter, we do ask that you browse the extensive drink menu below and decide wisely.

  1. Pop open a cold bottle of Lester’s Fixins Ranch Dressing soda or sit back, relax, and enjoy the patriotic taste of The Full English, a cocktail made with Worcestershire sauce, mustard, and garnished with a pickled quail’s egg?
  2. Prefer the fun taste of Avery’s Beverages’ Fungal Fruit soda or go from 0-100 with The Sourtoe, a cocktail that has two simple ingredients: a shot of whiskey and an amputated toe?
  3. Swallow a gulp of Belize’s thick Seaweed Smoothie — mixed with brandy, sweetened condensed milk, and seaweed gel — or go straight to the source with The Rocket Symphony, a special of The Burlington Social Club, complete with rocket leaves, coconut, and lime?
  4. Consume one of Starbucks’ Secret Menu items, the 17-ingredient Baby Vomit Latte or Gross Gus’ Pimple Pop soda?
  5. Enjoy a cold mojito with the tasty crunch of hormigas culonas from Colombia or let the flavor of Avery’s Beverages’ Worm Ooze soda slide down your throat?

The choice is yours, and yours alone.

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