by the ChiArts Double Space Staff
Our rating system:
✪ = Utterly disgusting.
✪✪ = I’d rather be eating another cookie.
✪✪✪ = Acceptable!
✪✪✪✪ = Delicious and delectable.
✪✪✪✪✪ = The best of all the cookies
Oreo might be the most recognizable cookie in the United States, but in case you’re uninitiated: it’s a chocolate sandwich cookie with a creamy filling. Lately, though, the folks at Nabisco have been trying on newfangled flavors for size — and some fit better than others.
We tested the tried-and-true original, and then three of its most popular counterparts, to see how the new versions stacked up. You’ll read some samples of our individually-written reviews, separated by quotes, and then see our average score for each cookie.
REGULAR OREOS
The original Oreo is a classic for a reason. The dark chocolate cookie paired with the overbearingly sweet and artificial filling is something everyone loves. It’s balanced for the most part; however, I really enjoy a balanced small treat, washed down with a little bit of milk. — Sasha Gonzalez
Although it feels incomplete to review this cookie without its class milk pairing, I found it to be quite bland. Despite its air of nostalgia, closer observation allows the eater to conclude that it is a simple (if not slightly stale) chocolate wafer filled with a borderline too-sweet cream. Paired together, they are mediocre at best, and a little nauseating at worst. — Cynthia Hedemark
The biscuit gives off a pungent chocolate smell, and adds to the sweetness of the cookie. The cookie itself is crunch and easily crumbles; the filling creamy and balancing out the sweet chocolate. Class Oreo, can’t go wrong. — Elena Rivera
✪✪✪✪
GOLDEN OREOS
A golden brown sandwich cookie with white filling with a vanilla scent and taste that remind me of shortbread, and in a sea of chocolate, it’s a bring and refreshing change of pace. — Kitty Batie
Very striking color, but not as flaky as the regular Oreo. Smells sweet like graham crackers; it’s very comforting. The cream and cookie are indistinguishable taste-wise, but it works. It’s sweet and simple. A very unsuspecting, wonderful surprise. — Caileigh Winslade
I never liked golden Oreos as a concept, and eating one didn’t change my mind. It’s like a sensational whiplash to compare it to your classic Oreo. It’s sweet on sweet with no balance of flavor. The golden cookie itself is bland and sugary. — Sasha Gonzales
First glance and smell lacks the familiar comforting scent and look of the OG cookie. I sort of struggled to swallow it once the mush settled in my mouth. — Kendal Amos
✪✪✪
MINT OREOS
It smells like a bathroom. — Nico Crabtree
I personally don’t like mint because it tastes like toothpaste. The mint is stuck at the back of your throat. It has the same chocolate cracker. I hate mint. Barf. But at least the cracker is decent. — Jayden Nguyen
If a Girl Scout thin mint was dissected into a cracker and cream, this would be it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever eating. It sits in the back of my throat. — Fontina Battaglia
✪✪
DARK CHOCOLATE OREOS
There’s a thick cream filling. As there’s more cream than cookie, it’s extremely chocolately. When in need of a quick store-bought chocolate cookie, the dark chocolate Oreo will not disappoint. — Priscila Rodriguez
The dark chocolate ones incited the most excitement among my peers, so I had high expectations. It looked sh*ttish and the icing tasted good enough on its own, but paired with a stale chalky biscuit, it kind of tasted like death. — Nico Crabtree
I’m a sucker for dark chocolate, and it’s a nice contrast to the tooth-aching white frosting filling of the original Oreo cookie. The cookie biscuit is the same formula as the original, with a creamy, rich chocolate filling. It’s more balanced in sugar intake, and definitely the cookie of which I would eat multiple. — Sasha Gonzalez
✪✪✪✪
ORANGE
One student didn’t like Oreos, and so he ate an orange instead. This is his review.
Upon peeling the orange, the scent of citrus was so overpowering, it bothered the peers behind me. usually strong citrus hints at delicious oranges. This orange was so delicious. First of all, it’s a Cutie, which automatically gets it up to three stars. It’s a very flavorful and juicy treat. — Tim Richie
✪✪✪✪✪
